A Father's Role During and After Pregnancy
Joe Kozak and his wife Elizabeth currently reside in Madisonville, OH. Joe is a middle school and high school History teacher at Leaves of Learning, and his wife is an Animal Behaviorist and dog trainer at Petsmart in Newport, KY. In the fall of 2018, they welcomed their beautiful daughter Violet into the world. Wanting to be as prepared as possible for the arrival of his bundle of joy, and at the suggestion of his wife, he enrolled in the Daddy Boot Camp program through UC Health. He was both a participant in the program, and later a guest speaker who shared his newfound daddy experiences with the incoming “rookies”. Recently, Joe sat down for an interview with Cradle Cincinnati and opened up about fatherhood, family and his career, and how he was learning to balance all three.
What is your favorite part about being a father?
Anything that makes my daughter smile, I love watching her find joy. Being able to see the world through her eyes, I gain joy from her wonder! It puts everything in perspective. We are fortunate to live in an era where things can be recorded and we can document their progress.
What do you feel was your role in supporting your wife through pregnancy and childcare?
We are partners in everything. I help to alleviate her challenges and stress. My partner had gestational diabetes, so her diet was very restricted, and she had to draw blood multiple times a day. I did what I could do to reduce her stress and create a productive environment for her.
Now that our baby is born, as a teacher, I am off during summers while my wife works varying hours as a dog trainer, so she isn’t getting as much time with baby. Because of this, I do more housework and take over the role of dad duties, which gives me lots of bonding time with my daughter. I realize now that my role is to back off and create more family exercises, so our baby has time to bond with her mother. I try to create balance, so our baby can have a better relationship with us both.
What advice would you give to new dads on how they can support their partners?
It may sound cliché but: happy wife, happy life. Wives do a lot for the family, so whatever you can do to ease the burden and stress on her, do it! It is a partnership that requires cooperation. You want to be considerate of family experiences and whether or not she wants to share family time or if you can take baby out for a while yourself.
What does fatherhood mean to you?
At first I thought I had to be perfect, but it’s really just two words: Being there (Should this be “being there” to stay consistent? Because “happy wife, happy life” started with lowercase). It means to be there to watch them grow, assist them, point them in the right direction and help mom however possible. I want my daughter to know that I am always present even if I’m not there physically, and there is always love present.
Everything is trial and error. It means introducing new things, but in moderation. For me it also means having plenty of gas in the car, so I’m prepared for late night drives until my baby falls asleep!
How has being a teacher and Daddy Boot Camp mentor impacted you as a father?
They have impacted each other. Being a teacher gives me patience, and I can apply that to fatherhood. Not everyone learns in the same way; I have figured out how my daughter learns and how to recreate the activities in my class for my much younger daughter. Creative lesson planning that I’ve done in school, I also do with my daughter.
And have a sense of humor! With Daddy Boot Camp, you learn lots of little things they don't teach you in 'dad school'. The experience was invaluable; it’s universally helpful to all dads.
You can learn more about UC Health's Daddy Boot Camp and register online here.